Lovebirds of a feather
by Dr. Gavel HD
Summary: Mordecai becomes a father with hard consequences. Truly the greatest hetero fic in the RS fandom along with spring love, summer pain.
1. Accident, or unfortunate coincidence

I'm publishing this story at midnight. It's when Mordecai goes out on a date and gets more than what he bargained for. I don't own regular show. Made because there's no true Mordecai/Margaret lemon.

"Oh Mordecai! Isn't this date wonderful?" A slightly intoxicated Margaret said walking out of a restaurant to her new boy friend, Mordecai.

"Yep, it sure is." Mordecai said hoping that he wouldn't fumble and mess it up.

"Want to know what would make it better?" Margaret said leaning against Mordecai's chest.

"Wh-What?" Mordecai stammered "Shit! She's onto me now, I totally ruined the date." He thought face-palming himself.

"Let me show you." Margaret said seductively taking Mordecai's left hand and pulling it, running. It took Mordecai by surprise and he struggled to keep up with her. The 2 lovebirds ran for a few blocks before Margaret reached her apartment complex, ran up 6 flights of stairs, into her apartment, and Mordecai onto the bed and began to strip down to a thong and a string bikini.

"She's so fucking hot." Mordecai thought looking at Margaret's near-naked figure in front of him. He wanted to strip her down and fuck her, no questions asked.

"Like what you see?" Margaret said looking at Mordecai's pink cock emerge from its sheath making her horny and sweaty. Soon she ripped off all of the clothes she still had on and threw them on the floor. Seconds later she took Mordecai by the ankles and brought his legs into a sitting position and began to suck his thing. After several minutes, Mordecai yelled Margaret's name as he climaxed and released into her mouth.

"You're so sweet you naughty boy, MORE!" Margaret said bouncing her breasts trying to get Mordecai aroused again. After a few minutes, she repositioned herself for seconds, and seconds did she get.

"Mordecai, fuck me, fuck me like you never fucked anyone else before!" Margaret screamed showing Mordecai her tight forbidden area that she positioned herself on him and he plunged into her making her gasp from both shock and pleasure.

After 12 minutes of incredible pleasure, with Mordecai going faster and faster, Margaret reached her climax allowed her juices to spill all over the sheets.

"Mordecai! That was incredible. I want to marry you, have your kids, and _love_ me like I've never been loved before." Margaret said situating her by Mordecai. They could have begun kissing lustfully, make love again, or fall asleep but now months of suffering and loneliness seemed far away, they had each other, and the world to themselves.

Mordecai woke up. "What an incredible dream!" He thought. He looked over to his left side and found Rigby not there, heck this wasn't even his room. He heard a little moan from his other side and found Margaret sleeping; her body warming Mordecai. "She looks so cute when she sleeps." Mordecai said.

Just then, Margaret stirred awake and then turned to Mordecai that made her jump from shock. Then she remembered what happened last night.

"N-No, how can this _be_?" She thought, she had been having affairs with her human boyfriends to crave her desire without worrying about getting pregnant. However, her natural instinct got the best of her, now she wasn't sure if a robin and blue jay could have kids, her parents were robins, and it scared her about getting pregnant, she was constantly watching her weight and now having to deal with possibly a small person in her. Then she remembered that she would only have to worry about it for 3 months, before her egg is laid then another 6 months before the egg hatches. Then carry on with any motherly duties.

"Margaret, is something wrong?" Mordecai said looking confused.

Margaret then ran into the bathroom and took one of the old tests she had in her cupboard and came back minutes later, crying.

"Margaret, what's wrong?" Mordecai asked being very concerned about his new lover.

"I-I'm pregnant."

Now I had to make a story like this because I talked to yaoi writers and they say that there needs to be a canon heterosexual lemon per 13 yaoi lemons at the least. This is a Mordecai/Margaret lemon in its purest form. This will be a tie-over until ZERO MASON writes one in this category. Chapter 1 of 4 to 7.


	2. a jibe of forgiveness

I'm back, in 8 days time. I've been reading the 4 reviews I have plus to my surprise they're constructive. It's not that intricate to make a heterosexual lemon populace, there's too much yaoi to a large extent in this category and if people don't begin writing less yaoi, that's appalling. There by now is an exceptionally high quantity in this category. Hell, the spongebob category has a reduced amount of yaoi. Even though its zombie story is rated K, the minimal ranking for a zombie fic should be T. M if you desire to include language, lemons, and well documented imagery of the zombies into it. Now I'm just trailing on the area under discussion of zeds, I can be comical without thinking I am. So, onto the jovial righteousness of the anecdote.

Mordecai jumped off the divan and sprinted to the shower. "_**Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!"**_ Mordecai thought while enthusiastically cleansing him of any ardor bodily fluids that had desiccated or caked his feathers in-between his legs, vigilant not to begin pleasing himself in the procedure.

"Mordecai! Where are you going?" Margaret asked as Mordecai grabbed his green sweater and zipped it up while unbolting the door at the same time.

"To work; Benson's probably already pissed." Mordecai said sprinting out of the residence and for all you are worth traveled the corridors until he found the stairs that were the only way he could get downstairs. He rode the railing of numerous flights before leaping and pushing open the door at the bottom. Only to be greeted at the door by Muscleman that had binoculars and a walkie-talkie and High-five ghost.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Muscleman asked in a rather hostile tone to Mordecai who was dusting himself off. He looked to make out how close to the revolving entry he was, about 16 feet. "Good, maybe I can flee." He darted past Muscleman just about knocking him over.

"Come back here you son of a bitch." High-five ghost said speeding after him being followed by Muscleman. Mordecai weaved his way through the horde of pedestrians for what felt like without end until he reached the desolate trail to the park quarters and sprinted in only to be greeted by the miniature jamboree of the other park staff.

"Where the fuck have you been for the past 15 hours?" Benson said with his gumballs turning a pinkish-white and it looked as if he would melt. Mordecai was extremely frustrated and this only added to it; he began to feel disheartened and angry at the same time.

_**"WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING BE QUIET YOU BLUE-BALLED WHORE!" **_Mordecai screamed at Benson literally knocking him over then he went on his knees and began crying into his hands. The situation was as immature as it was premature for not just Mordecai, but every park staff member.

Benson regained his sense of balance and stared at him. "What's wrong?" He asked with his gumballs turning a reddish-purple then to just purple.

"M-Margaret's pregnant." Mordecai stammered out before crying into his hands.

"How's that even possible! She's been going out with human boyfriends, humans can almost not mate let alone get an avian pregnant." Benson questioned Mordecai, calming down. "Wait, s-she's pregnant with your child?"

"Y-yes; last night, I snuck out to go on a date with Margaret, she got drunk and well lost it." Mordecai said returning to crying into his hands.

"That's ba- WAIT A SECOND! You're a blue-jay and she's a robin. I'm a gumball machine; I don't know how it works for birds like you. Explain it to me." Benson said now wondering if Mordecai had made this an elaborate scheme of his.

"I don't know how it exactly works, anatomists still don't how it exactly works but the theory is that if a bird that has similar features to a member of the opposite sex, they can have children. We still lay eggs but only one, twins and triplets are extremely rare, often the child is of the father's species."

"That's weird, but that doesn't excuse you from being gone for 15 hours! You can stay here for the next 5 days; by then you should have living arrangements with her if you're going to marry her."

"SAY WHAT! I can't marry her, I'd be lucky if I could afford a cheap-ass cake, let alone the reception, location, banquet, and tux!" Mordecai said in protest.

"I'll help you out, just ignore Rigby and work. You have a great potential Mordecai; you just have to set your mind to it." Benson said showing him a small little smile.

Okay, now this chapter's done, but I have something important to tell you, this story isn't the first heterosexual lemon one of Mordecai and Margaret, at least not together. I made a Margaret/OC lemon and a Mordecai/Spottedleaf lemon along with a yaoi Rigby/OC lemon in chapters 13 and 14 of the planets of Mordo, the M-rated regular show/X-overs X-over.


	3. let the truth be known

Mordecai worked hard for the next few days doing various tasks around the house and packing the few belongings he had so he could move into Margaret's apartment but one thing was on his mind, why didn't Benson just fire him instead of giving him a raise and several days to move out? The more he thought about this, the more he wanted an answer until on the day he has going to leave, he asked Benson about it.

"Okay, Mordecai I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone about this but, I was once in a situation as or worse than this. I was in love with another gumball machine, we had a one-night stand and little did I know that she was Jewish and even worse, one of my rivals was crazily in love with her. But shortly after I found out that she was pregnant. So I became Jewish, that's part of the reason why I don't have the ponytail and only half a head of gumballs. Then, he found out about it; he was so furious he raped and killed her, I was so angry I went into a fit of rage that made me high on anger, I didn't know what I was doing but I felt like I was trapped in a dense coat while being punched. When I calmed down, I found out that I killed him by smashing his glass head into the side of this house's wall; I vowed never to get that angry again, I've gotten very close to being that angry though." Benson said sitting in his office looking at no specific point in space.

"But why do you make Rigby and I do the amount of work we do when you know it will make you angry because we always slack off?" Mordecai asked Benson.

Benson knew that Mordecai and Rigby could do the work; they proved that when they did a massive amount of work for their concert tickets and when they cleaned up the entire house after a party that nearly destroyed it. But he had a weird feeling about Rigby, not only did he attempt to ruin Mordecai's chances with Margaret by having him masturbate while making truck noises; he was with him too much, as if he was hiding something, but he shook the thought away, Rigby was nothing more than the failed abortion product of a whore, Benson was told by Rigby's father and to never tell Rigby or any of his friends. Benson then screamed at him. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. YOU CAN DO THE WORK; I SAW YOU WORK LIKE A STEAM ENGINE CLEANING THE HOUSE JUST TO IMPRESS THAT BISEXUAL HERLOT OF A WIFE YOU CALL MARGARET!" The last part was of course a bit too harsh but when he turned to look at Mordecai, he was gone; he then heard Mordecai running up and down the steps with boxes loading the golf-cart. 'The paycheck can wait until tomorrow.' Benson thought to himself as he looked out the window and saw a rather cramped golf-cart cruising off into the distance.

Mordecai and Skips carried the boxes and Mordecai's backpack into the elevator and went up to Margaret's floor to be greeted by Margaret in cut-off jeans and a small tank- top.

"Hey Mordecai." Margaret said leaning against the wall.

"Hey Margaret, can you help me lift these boxes into your room?" Mordecai said with a straining emphasis on the last 6 words. Without answering, Margaret grabbed the opposite end of the box Mordecai was trying to lift.

"Thanks!" Mordecai said dropping the box down in the sitting room.

"Not a problem." Margaret asked already heading out to get more boxes.

After all of the boxes were in Margaret's apartment, Margaret was giving him a tour of the apartment that turned out to be larger than what he expected it to be. Margaret pushed Mordecai down onto the bed.

"Hey Mordecai; I know that I didn't properly court you so now let's do it." Margaret said throwing off her clothes and pulling Mordecai up and close to her; she then threw herself onto her bed and Mordecai approached her sacred area and inhaled her sweet smell before going forward and pushing his tongue deep into her and she moaned greatly in pleasure. After about 30 minutes she released her juices into his face. He then proceeded to move upwards until the two of them were eye to eye.

"Are you ready to do this?" Mordecai asked.

"Yes." Margaret answered. Soon Mordecai was thrusting into her and she moaned so loud that Benson could hear it. "MORDECAI!" Margaret screamed as her juices once again exited her.

A few hours later, the 2 lovebirds were sitting together drinking cola mixed with vodka staring into the sky.

"Margaret, I have something to ask you. Are you a pr-prosti-"Mordecai began to ask but Margaret began crying into his chest.

"L-let me just say that I did things I wasn't proud of in the past." Margaret said crying.

"Like what?"

"When I was 18, I had a boyfriend; we dated for a few months but then his father was a pimp and he died so my boyfriend had to take his place and I was his whore. After 2 years I switched to another pimp. Fortunately, a rival member killed him with an AR-16 assault rifle and I had to become a lone escort. Now I'm scared that I'm a pawn in their game of RISK."

"Don't worry, you're going to be fine, I'll get a SCAR-L and dress like a pimp with you out in public."

"No, I went through so much humiliation and I can't let you take this as a joke."

"Okay, when I wait, I mean when we get the money, we'll move into a house. You'll see; everything will get better in time and with my luck, all the pimps will be dead."

Margaret just simply smiled at this and stared up into the sky, hoping for that day to come soon.

A/N: I'd like to tell everyone thank you for reading this story. Also for anyone that messes with anyone on my favorites list or I, I made a little ficlet at the bottom.

Raperwithdetails was busy typing up a death story to LordyruTJ calling him autistic. He finds out about it and contacts me to contact 3 people, one with a M16, another with a Siaga, and another with a shotgun. They find him and open fire on him.

_That_ could happen, in fact, it almost did. So don't insult people or else your head will be destroyed


	4. One lifetime, two sides

Mordecai and Margaret were merrily on their way together to the park on a cloudy Monday.

"I hope it doesn't rain." Margaret said to Mordecai. Ever since Margaret told him about her troubled past, he began having weird feelings. As if someone was stalking them, but when he looked around, he couldn't see anyone that looked too out of normal. Yet, he couldn't shake the feeling away.

"I sure hope it doesn't. You're getting a little chubby, I like that." Mordecai said teasing her and resting his hand on her belly. Going over some stuff he learned in high school, female avails would put on 30-250 pounds while pregnant to help incubate the egg; he was still worrying about Rigby, and how he was doing. He had been acting a very strange during moving week and strayed away from trying to work a little, to not working at all and even distracting Mordecai, he even went as far as to make a hole the size of a munchkin doorway into Pops' room from their room that almost made Benson have a aneurysm from anger and stress. That was even too strange for Rigby to be doing.

When they arrived at the house, Muscleman and High-5 ghost were busy playing dig champs, drinking soda, and eating pizza. That was strange Rigby wasn't down there, in fact, Rigby was secluding himself a lot. That was making Mordecai unhappy.

"Hey guys." Mordecai greeted the 2 of them. "Have you seen Rigby?"

"No, why do you care about that idiot anyway? OWW!" Muscleman retorted after receiving a punch from Mordecai.

"Don't call him an idiot; he just has problems maturing."

"Bro, he has way more than just problems, he has a maturing deficiency. Know who else has a maturing deficiency? MY MOM!" Muscleman said ending in his trademark term and high-fiving High-5 ghost's hand.

"What do you mean by deficiency?" Margaret asked the two frat brothers.

"Not enough life experience and testosterone; he's virtually a baby like Julian Beaver." Muscleman answered. Ignoring the stupid retort, Mordecai made his way upstairs to his old room. When he fully opened the door, he jumped back in disgust. Dirty clothes, empty pizza boxes, beer cans, and soda bottles and cans covered the floor. Rigby was on his trampoline in a fetal position.

"Good god Rigby, you're such a-"

"Slob, I know. Why Mordecai, Why?" Rigby turned around crying. Rigby seemed to have gotten thinner and very unkempt for his fur was tangled, matted, and stained; his blood-shot eyes sunken into his head.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you?" Mordecai asked looking at his deformed friend. Then the uneasy feeling of someone watching him made him nervous.

"Oh, Mordecai where do I begin?" Rigby asked. "I could begin telling you from my earliest memories, or when you stole my crush from me?"

Mordecai knew Rigby had feelings for Margaret, he remembered when they met in daycare and Rigby was always the trouble-maker, trying to impress all the cute girls, that worked until 3rd grade, when Rigby and his family along with Don took a train to the east coast but it crashed, confusing the family into thinking Don was the youngest, however, Rigby returned to school and had trouble doing certain tasks, growing closer to Mordecai, his only friend left, and even though he was severely harassed, he made it through, then Rigby just stopped going to school on his 15th birthday, and then Margaret began dating a variety of other men. So maybe Rigby stumbled across Margaret outside at school; more likely it was probably because a lot of the park staff was beginning to have girlfriends, even Pops was beginning to have a relationship with a college professor from Montreal. So Rigby, being his insecure self, wanted to stand out from the rest, so wanting to be with Margaret to Rigby was probably the easiest and most fantastic thing for Rigby to do, and Mordecai being a role-model with Margaret being his friend before his fiancé and before his girlfriend. Then again Rigby could be drunk, and then Rigby's feelings for him would be true.

"Dude, not cool, you couldn't hook up with her; you're half her size." Mordecai coolly replied.

"! It's not that, I want both of you guys." Rigby said.

"So you're bisexual?" Mordecai knew that Rigby was asexual for a long time and he and Margaret getting together on such a short notice was too much for him to handle, so he looked toward Mordecai as the role-model.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU TO DO YESTURDAY RIGBY?" Benson screamed at Rigby; his gumballs turning bright red when he barged into the mess stepping into a couple of pizza boxes.

"Move?" Rigby moaned lying down in a heap.

"Yes, and you haven't moved at all, now pack up before I kick your ass!" Benson screamed picking up the little raccoon and shaking him violently, leaving Mordecai to stand cowering in fear of Benson getting into a state of being high off anger.

Then Muscleman bursted into the room, shifting Benson's attention away from the squirming, furry figure but still holding him by the upper arm.

"Benson," Muscleman gasped out due to how exhausted he was. "There's some pimp-dude with glowing yellow eyes, and a cannon."

"What do you mean by 'cannon'?" Margaret said arriving behind Muscleman. "It's one of those things people mount over their shoulders."

One object popped in Benson's head. "A RPG?" Benson asked then, _Bang!_, an explosion was heard downstairs that shook the house. Benson dropped Rigby and sprinted downstairs, to find the entire living room destroyed, and through the giant crater in the wall, he saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes.

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><p>A cliff-hanger, now I'm sorry for the wait, I'll still update and I'm doing fine. If you've heard that LordryuTJ banned me, it's true, he did. I'm trying to get through to him by having blackdeth (formerly icecat19) PM both of us. Also, I'll be working on a collaboration of X-over lemons. Also, all of my future works will have my authorization at the bottom, starting with this chapter.<p>

~Dr. Gavel HD


	5. Rising of darkness

"Who the hell are you?" Benson yelled at the figure; pointing his walther P-39 at him. Benson was cynical if the form was even in-range of his low caliber small arm but he didn't care as for he was sweltering with trepidation and resentment.

The figure tentatively walked toward the hefty crater in the living room wall and stopped several feet in front of the opening. The figure was now much more perceptible, it was an Egyptian Jackal wearing a vanilla suit coat and dress pants along with a light-pink button down shirt under the jacket. On his back, he was carrying an entirely black RPK transversely and resting on his right shoulder he had some kind of black rocket launcher but it wasn't an RPG by any means; it was a M1 bazooka. "Why the hell are you threatening me with a pansy little P-39? I thought I was at least going to get threatened with a Colt 45 or a MAC-10. If you want to wound me, go ahead and try; I'm wearing Kevlar under my dinner suit. Well I'm Jokai; I came here to repossess who's lawfully mine. Now where the hell is that little bitch?" He swanked in an eccentric Turkish accent; also as if he learned English as a subsequent language.

Just then Mordecai, Margaret, and Muscleman went downstairs and Jokai climbed through the crater into the abode, leaving some black char marks on his pants and suit. Now that he was visible in the flickering lights Benson also noticed there were unusual gold rings around his ears that appeared to be unusual but natural.

"Oh God! It's you! How could it be? I thought you were-"Margaret stammered out.

"Dead? How the fuck could I be deceased, I _was_ the individual who killed your last whore-monger with an Uzi. Of course I was attacked by one of his retarded sentries who only had two rounds present in his Glock 18 on full-auto; that couldn't eradicate anybody wearing bulletproof body armor. So yeah, I'm back and your fiancé is fairly analogous to you." He said turning his eyes in the direction of Mordecai.

"What do you want?" Mordecai asked in a nervous tone yet was serious enough to get the message to him that he wasn't going down without exchanging blows.

"I yearn for my little hoe, Margaret! What the fuck did you think I am here for? Cookies?" He said raising his tone of voice from Mordecai's question that he'd heard at least one-hundred times before from different people.

"You're never getting her! I've waited too fucking long to ask her out and I'm _not_ giving her up!" Mordecai yelled at him ending the verbal battle. After a few moments of silence, Jokai strapped his bazooka onto his back and pulled out his RPK turning off the safety and pointing it directly at Mordecai's chest.

"I'm giving you ten seconds to decide. Hand her over to me or go to meet your maker. Ten….Nine…Eight…..Seven….Six…Five…..Four….Three…Two...O-"Jokai was cut off by Muscleman's 'battle-cry' as he raced towards the house with his pump-action shotgun, which he snuck out and got during the heated verbal clash.

"BURN IN HELL!" He yelled at him after cocking his firearm and he fired at Jokai just as he turned around causing him to agonizingly wail from the twinge of the shot hitting his face, which wasn't protected at all. Regrettably, he went trigger-happy and shot Muscleman several times while he was waving his RPK around wildly causing Muscleman to scream from rounds hitting his legs and arms causing blood to spray from impact of the rounds.

"You have to go." Benson said guiding them to the screen door in the kitchen, letting them out after him, and beginning a moderate jog in the moonlight hearing Jokai and Muscleman blaring behind them. After 5 minutes, they reached a pull barn. "I can't have you here; he let you go…this time."

"Yeah, so what? I brush the face of death nearly every week; he's nothing compared to some of what I've been through." Mordecai boasted walking through the entrance way. Inside, it looked like a mechanic's garage with several gigantic red toolboxes, a welding torch, and a garbage can filled with oil-stained rags; the only exceptions were that instead of the equipment being on the cement, it was on low-priced looking cobalt carpet and there was a outsized firearm case that looked more like the stockade of an complete armed forces arsenal placed inside metal casings covered by the type of metal chain you'd see on propane tank storage containers at a gas station. Benson stopped and turned around, leaning against an unorganized metal pushcart filled with firearm magazines and what appeared to be some RPG rounds and bullet chains; his gumballs turning red a little.

"You have no idea what that means, do you? I've dealt with his uncle who was a gumball machine; remember what I told you a few days ago." He raised his voice slightly.

"Wait; was he or his uncle adopted? because that's sick and weird." Mordecai said trying to picture a gumball machine and wolf-like person 'doing' it.

"No, his father died in a police chase after his car crashed into a semi-trailer; his mother decided to marry a trash bin, who was rather wealthy but somewhat harsh. Now the police force and his guards will be here any minute!" Benson finished walking over to a vehicle that was covered in a khaki-colored tarpaulin. He lifted it off and under it was a 1983 Mazda RX-7 which looked a few months old even despite the fact that it was contrived about 12 years before. "Get in." He said as he opened the driver's side door for Mordecai to get into the coupé. He then walked around and opened the passenger door for Margaret. "One last thing," He said closing the side door and walking over to the gun case and unlocking it pulling out 2 MP5s which seemed at least appropriate to fire and opening the door and dropping them in Margaret's lap.

"What are those for?" Mordecai questioned Benson starting the car which sputtered to life after a few attempts.

"Those are for crude protection against his guards and troopers; use them wisely." Benson said stepping back a few feet.

"Dude, how do we get out of here? Do you push a button and the door opens or something?" Mordecai asked.

"Well, the automated door opener is shit so drive through the door." Benson chuckled a bit. "It can go 0-to-60 in 6.2 seconds so you shouldn't have a problem."

Mordecai shifted into reverse until he was no more than inches from the back wall then he slammed on the gas and blasted all the way through the door disappearing into the shadows only to witness an ambulance and a few police cars in the distance towards the residence.

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><p>I'm sorry for the very long update time, I'll try harder to update. If you're wondering why this chapter's so long it's because I wanted to even it out to about 1,000 words a chapter, which is the average length of a typical chapter. Another thing, if you watch police dramas or crime movies, you may find references to them in here and parodies too. As you see, I introduced a rather powerful antagonist in this story, which I've added depth to. In fact, I've added fanon based insightfulness to a number of characters to help even it out. Please tell me if some people are too out-of-character so I can correct it.<p>

~Dr. Gavel HD


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